I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm at about main and main street
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There are leaves in my underwear?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
