she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize