school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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