im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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