she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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