it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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