I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
