3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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