k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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