you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
