New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
