Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
