so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
