I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
