thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize