Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
