i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
