We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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