found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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