The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
