At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize