I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no, he came in my armpit
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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