I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just tell him i said nine months
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
