umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
