i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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