i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
