Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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