So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
worst night to have a conscience
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
