forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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