When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
