I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
