y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
