Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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