Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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