ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
