Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize