just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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