My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
