You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
