That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
