Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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