I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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