eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
