Dual....:-)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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