He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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