i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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