nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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