Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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