If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My vagina is officially offended.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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