awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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