just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
