what day is it and did you see me today?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize