Don't you send me to vm
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
