You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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