just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
