mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
