I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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