Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
