OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
