Buhtt sex?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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