Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
