I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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