also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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