Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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