you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
