I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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